Most people would arrive at a major media event via the front entrance, I made my bow at the Tenerife Ladies Open golf at Buenavista, by clambering over a wall. It wasn’t some sort of statement of sporting anarchy just some locals having a chuckle as they gave me dodgy directions to the course. I got the early TITSA bus up to Icod de los Vinos and then the 30 minute link bus to Buenavista along the glorious low road route through Garachico. A hot sunny day was brewing and the frothy sea was a bathers delight at the large piscina and the numerous rock pools.

Arriving at Buenavista, my first visit, the Teno mountain range was as majestic as promised and I walked through the town soon realising the course was some way away. That’s when I sought  guidance from some old chaps chewing the fat in the plaza, they kept staight faces as they directed me down a small road that soon became a dirt track and then skirted around the cliffs. I could see the course but it still needed an uphill route march to get to the coastal path that runs beside the 17th hole, at that point I scrambled over and tried to look dignified.

The course is a real selling point for Tenerife, stunningly beautiful and spread outbelow the clear sky and clear deep rich blue ocean that laps at the lower edge. some 120 countries are expected to take at least highlights of the four days of action, what a wonderful living brochure they will see. The ladies had started out early so I set about stalking a few of the groups, the ladies game has the advantage of being a great shopwindow for clothes brands and they all looked cool and stylish as they toiled in the hot sun. I checked in at the clubhouse press centre and found it to be surprisingly quiet but it will build as the tournament does the same.

After the first days play the good news is we have a sporting English star in the lead, defending the honour of Derbyshire Melissa is one of  the favourites for the title, time will tell,

• 1st Melissa Reid (England)                              6 under par    66 shots
• 2nd Ursula Wikstrom (Finland)                    6 under par     66 shots
• 3rd Virgine Lagoutte-Clement (France)   6 under par     66 shots

Take a good look at this pic, he’s not a lovable furry bear (you should see what he does in the woods)  just a constant reminder of bad fashion (I should talk) favoured by some golfers. My only real golfing experience was “finding ” lost golf balls at the course near my parents and selling them back to golfers. Here in Tenerife it is difficult to ignore golf as the island has a wealth of courses and I have visited many for work purposes. With my untrained non golfing mind I always find myself admiring the sheer beauty and fantastic views.

So I’m very happy to nudge your arm violently and shout in your ear about the latest competition from www.tenerifemagazine.com  You can win three rounds of golf at any seperate three of these courses

• Buenavista Golf
• Golf Del Sur
• Golf Las Americas
• Golf Costa Adeje
• Tecina Golf in La Gomera

All you have to do is be a Facebook fan of Tenerife Magazine when the draw is made on 2nd June. The prize is subject to availability, and if not claimed within 2 weeks, it will be re-drawn.

The Asociacion de Campos de Golf Tenerife have put up the prize and they are also offering everyone a Summer Golf Package that will save enough money to splash out at the 19th hole. Until 30th September you can choose three seperate rounds from the same courses above for just 135 euros – and that’s not all.

EXTRA BONUS

When you buy the package, you can have a reduced price round at Abama Golf, just 150 euros rather than the usual 200 euros, and/or Golf Los Palos, the nine hole course near Las Galletas will give you the special price of 15 euros for a round. To book contact http://en.tenerifeisladegolf.com/holidays/summer-golf-packages.htm

Well that sounds pretty impressive to me. I’m already looking forward to the Tenerife Ladies Open at Buenavista Golf from 1st to 4th July, I followed the event at Golf Costa Adeje last year and spotted lots of talent.

Think of cricket and you think of the glitz and glamour of the Indian Premier League and Calypso Cricket in the Caribbean-you dont think of Oxford on a cold Easter Monday. But that was where I ended up this morning, at The Parks, the home of Oxford University cricket.

I had just read in the paper about the death of Sir Alec Bedser a great player from another era, so when I saw that Northants were playing in Oxford I had to have a quick wander down there. The University parks were given to the city years ago so they cant charge to watch games, all the counties visit during the season and every other year the touring side pop in for a 3 day game. It was always a case of booking 3 days off work and heading to The Parks with a coolbag stuffed with beer, I saw Australia and the West Indies strutting their stuff, always great fun. Today was very different, no big crowds and so cold you could grate cheese on my scrotum.

There was no beer tent today just a few hardy souls huddling together around the boundary. Oxford were batting and Northants played with 2 slips-a bra and a pair of panties – old cricket joke number 397 there. I just stayed long enough to take a few snaps, then I retired to the pavillion, or pub as i prefer to call it.

The ground is in the post part of North Oxford, where they have fruit on the sideboard even if nobody is ill. On my way out of town I spotted 2 magpies (2 for joy) on a wall, I tried to get a better vantage point as they moved and I went in through an open gate. It was only at this point that I realised I was in a posh school for elegant young ladies – and that is the case for the defence your honour.

Nearly time to return to Tenerife, cant wait to get some warm sun and taste the Dorada again.

Shaking off my CD Tenerife hangover, the last few days have been a pleasant whirl of activity. Yesterday morning walking down Cardiac Hill to Los Cristianos, I ran into the GB Indoor Volleyball squad, over for a weeks training camp. Accosting the coach, I arranged to pop down in the evening to the local sports hall to do a piece on them. They were over a year ago, they get little funding and have to train hard, if you want to see what secrets the coach served up, check out www.tenerifemagazine.com .

These things always come in little groups and today I was off to La Laguna to interview New York born basketball player Randall Hanke, a recent signing for Socas Canarias in the Second Division of the Spanish League. The day started with a scrum down for the 111 Titsa bus from Los Cristianos to Santa Cruz, why do people tut tut and moan when waiting for a bus and then when it arrives suddenly discover they haven’t got change, a bus ticket, a brain, or all three. Anyway, even though this was not the direct 110, even the detour to Reina Sofia airport barely dented the hours journey, not bad for 4.70 on my bono ticket.

Arriving in a hot, sunny capital, I changed to the tram, free as my bono was still warm, and glided the 30 minutes up to La Laguna. There are not often ticket inspectors around but a few got on today and yanked one dodgy customer off at a halfway station for an interrogation, it could end in a 400 euro fine, so beware.  A sweet young lady sat opposite me rummaged through her wallet to find her ticket and in the process revealed a CD Tenerife season ticket – sadly she got off before I could propose marriage.

I was a bit behind schedule but a frantic scamper across La Laguna and I pitched up at the Juan Rios Tejera sports hall a very acceptable 10 minutes late. Marcos the press officer was waiting with the towering 6 foot 11 Randall, who rescued his number 12 vest from the laundry and we went through, Randall stooping slightly, onto the court so I could snap some pics. Randall has dual nationality due to a English father and has played for Great Britain and moved recently from Glasgow Rocks. If you want to delve further into the sport, see the full article at www.tenerifemagazine.com .

With a notebook full of scribble that a doctor would struggle to read, I headed down into central La Laguna stopping for a snack. Most of the centre was pretty quiet, the nearby University pupils would be studying and many more were wisely shading from the heat. I managed to load up with some brochures for the upcoming Easter week (semana santa) a big event on the calender that will see La Laguna re-enacting the Passion and a host of other big religious events. I was upset not to see the new super dooper pooper scooper around the streets. I read in the morning paper that the council had bought this state of the art moped with suction pipes attached to swallow up the walnut whips that our four legged friends leave behind, maybe next time.

Tramming back down to Santa Cruz, had to pay a euro this time, I grabbed some food and headed for El Tanque Cultural Space where they have a new exhibition called Scanner. If you scroll back a few posts you will see the gong show I saw there recently, this new work by Madrid born Daniel Canogar proved to be equally bizarre. The huge dark interior of the old oil tank was strewn with a spiders web of electriacl cables and two video projectors. The result was a pulsating light show which seemed like thoughts sparking inside a giant brain, too many to be mine. In the dark I heard a scraping sound and saw a shape looming. Not sure if it was part of the show my guts did a few somersaults before I realised it was a caretaker with a trolley of rubbish-phew.

Scanner is on until 9 May before moving to the New York Science Museum, it opens from noon to 8pm Monday to Saturday and 11am to 2pm Sunday and is FREE. It’s just 5 minutes walk from the bus station and El Corte Ingles and worth a detour for a good helping of weirdness. Leaving the cool eerie charged air behind I headed for my 110 direct Titsa bus back to the south.

Touching home base, stepping up to the plate and ball park figures are nothing new to me, not because I’m an expert on baseball, but I used to work in Oxford with an accountant who constantly used that awful management speak. If your wondering, yes he was, a complete and utter one. Despite that, a visit to see Tenerife Marlins baseball team has been on my to do list for a couple of seasons, so yesterday I set off to Puerto de la Cruz to see them training.

This week has been hot and sunny after the storms of the previous weeks, a 343 Titsa bus whisked me up to Puerto in just over an hour for 7.65 euros on my bono ticket. Coming in to Puerto on the motorway Mount Teide looked magnificent coated in glistening white snow well down it’s peak, as the temperature registered 29 degrees. Tenerife Marlins play at El Burgado, just past Loro Park, a 381 bus from the temporary central bus station got me there in 5 minutes, well before the morning training session was due to finish.

My very basic knowledge of baseball comes from films like Field Of Dreams and Major League but we are lucky to have the current 5 times Spanish champions here in Tenerife. Tenerife Marlins have quite a few South American players but they have an eager crop of local youngsters making quite a name for themselves. The team management were very helpful, filling me in with background info and making sure I didn’t get my head blasted off by a stray strike. You can read my full article on Tenerife Marlins at www.tenerifemagazine.com The Marlins new season starts this Saturday 27 February at Noon in El Burgado.

Taking a leisurely stroll back into Puerto de la Cruz along the coast road overlooking Playa Jardin, I could see the beach was busy despite some big waves crashing in. Back in town I was drawn to the walkway above Playa San Telmo where tourists posed with backs to the large rolling waves, go on smile for the life insurance payout photos. With time to spare I met up with Jack Montgomery, fellow Tenerife Magazine scribe and co writer of Real Tenerife Island Drives.  A few shady drinks and a chance to put the world to rights was just what we needed in the heat of the afternoon.

I carried on my strolling, Puerto de la Cruz always looks pretty and well presented, yesterday it was in very regal form. I ended up back at the bus stops for my 5.15 pm return bus, with just enough time for a coffee in the street above the now deserted and delapidated wobbly bus station. After my slurp I asked the barman for the toilet key and he gave me a bottle opener, was this a make fun of the gormless looking tourist moment? maybe not,  a nifty flick of the flat end of the opener slipped the toilet lock, very bizarre.

The journey back south was swift eneb though this late afternoon bus calls in at both the north and south airports. The day was still lovely and sunny but even in high summer Los Rodeos north airport seems to be shrouded in low cloud, and yesterday it was almost fog like. Hammering down back onto the TF1 motorway, the sun soon emerged again lulling me into a soft snooze as I headed home to Los Cristianos after another satisfying day up north.

Ahoy me old ship mates, this is Captain Colin here fresh back from Santa Cruz, it was awash with tourists from Germany, Britain, France, Italy and Spain, as 5 cruise liners docked. It was too good an opportunity to miss, so armed with my camera and notebook I stalked the streets of the capital looking for a story for www.tenerifemagazine.com .

The ships were lined up nicely at the far side of the port, trouble was security guards were posted at the entrance to the area where they were moored, so I had to be content with pics from the ferry reception building. The biggest of all the ships, MSC Fantasia has called in before, but still looks impressive with its 18 decks, 3,274 passengers, and money oozing out of every port hole. The Grand Mistral weighed in with 1,100 passengers, the Astor 590, a 4 mast sailing yacht, Sea Cloud with about half that, and Island Escape adding another 1,690 floating wallets. Personal service is the order of the day on board these ships, so crew numbers only lag slightly behind the paying public.

Thankfully the weather behaved, leaving me to chase passengers around the streets of Santa Cruz with a big net, it just needed the Benny Hill music in the background and it would have been perfect. A lot of passengers didn’t want to talk, probably thought I was selling something, and others pretended to speak French or Italian just to get rid of me, probably from Scunthorpe but good at accents. At least a few were chatty, give it a few days and you can read the full article at www.tenerifemagazine.com , we are cramming so many stories in at the moment, some have to adopt a stacking formation and wait for a space to become available.

All this activity didn’t keep me away from my favourite food places, I nearly always have some churros de pescado (fish in batter) at the Plaza del Principe cafe, and it would be rude not to have some coffee and chocolate doughnuts along the way. All the streets were busy with beggars and artists, some are a pain, but I can’t resist stopping to watch the living statues, and the reactions they get from startled members of the public when they suddenly move.

I was ready to make my way back down south, this time along the Avenida Maritima, the dock front road, but loud music and gathered crowds alerted me to the slip road  bordering the docks, brightly coloured race cars were gathering for the Tenerife Rally. All 96 entrants were going through last minute checks before Friday nights 3 quickfire stages could take place in Arico, Icor and Fasnia.

Feast you eyes on this Porsche 911 997 GT3 , I’m told it is favourite to win the Tenerife Rally after the 2 further Saturday runs on the same 3 routes. The driver is Santiago Concepcion Acosta from La Palma and his co pilot Nazer Ghuneim Olivares. I must be honest and say that the technical wizardry of the cars is lost on me, but I did appreciate the dolly girls dishing out the race programmes. The full article is already up on www.tenerifemagazine.com and you still have until the end of November to win a weeks holiday at Sands Beach Resort in Lanzarote, by joining the Tenerife Magazine Facebook group, get in there.

Even in Tenerife, winter should mean a little drop in temperature, but it just seems to be getting hotter at the moment. The skies were clear and blue as I headed for El Medano, just past the south airport, this morning, and I was greeted by some wonderous sights as kite boarders and wind surfers made the most of this delightfully windy corner of the island.

El Medano is a big favourite of mine, a bit of a hippy chill out feel to it and lots of surf dudes communing with nature. It’s been a while since I ventured down there, so it was an added bonus to find a health fair taking place in the main plaza, facing the sea. They seemed to be doing a steady trade with health drinks, diet and fitness plans and even some sporadic work outs conducted from the stage.

Gently shelving beaches is a bit of a holiday brochure cliche, but it really applies to El Medano, going in from the main beach or one of the coves worn into the sandstone, you can walk out a long way before the fluff in your belly button starts to get damp. Further along towards the imposing figure of Montña Roja, the sky becomes flecked with multi coloured kites harnessing the wind for the board riders who tug on the threads. I arrived at just the right time to see many of the kite boarders and wind surfers setting up for the day, and it was quite a spectacle.It’s almost a ballet of boards and kites as they tack into and away from the wind with great skill and strength. many big chamionships are held in El Medano because of the conditions, and a whole support structure of kit and clothing shops has sprung up.

Wandering back and along the seafront walkway, I caught the regular market in the far plaza, no doubt tough times for them as well these days but it’s another attraction that draws people down to this area. The Hotel El Medano and it’s very English looking pier, are still standing firm, despite constant threats to demolish at least the pier for breaking the coastal protection law. Granadilla council do a good job on looking after El Medano, there are plenty of informative boards along the front about the flora and fauna, and some history of this stretch of coast. Bins the length of the front have been set up to keep differnt types of rubbish seperate and easier for recycling, and the small exercise frames attract a regular stream of curious test pilots.

El Medano is very much at peace with itself, even the low flying planes from Reina Sofia airport fail to detract from the overall feel of serenity. The sporting exploits on the sea  give the resort a claim to fame around Tenerife, let’s hope the breeze continues to lift them to new heights.

Another frustrating away defeat for CD Tenerife, this time by 2-1 at Espanyol, and once again they came up short in key positions. Just to really wind me up, a few of the stupid short sighted local Canarian bars only realised at the last minute that they couldn’t get the pay per view game, one even had it advertised and then tried to argue that it was on an hour later, mainland time, don’t they even know their own time differences?

Good job myself and the other 3 Brits could rely on the Royal Oak 2 just down from CD Marinos ground in Las Americas, a speedy drive and we got to the Armada Sur watering hole with 20 minutes gone and the score at 1-1.

Uruguayan Ivan Alonso hit a great strike after 11 minutes to put the home side ahead and Alfaro got his first of the season for CDT 3 minutes later, a rasping long range shot that nearly tore the net open. Tenerife were getting as good as they got but the defence was its usual jittery self, Pablo Sicila struggling out of position at right back. Sergio Aragoneses was immense in goal and made a world class double save, tipping the ball up with an outstretched hand and then twisting back in the opposite direction to firmly claim it as it threatened to spin over the goal line. Kome (pic) was making his usual incisive runs but sadly there was noone on the end to take advantage.

Nino was again looking lost up front, short on pace and confidence and even Alfaro failed to be ignited by his great goal, firing wide just into the second half. Espanyol grew stronger with Alonso looking a class act, Marques skinned Sicilia and crossed the ball to Alonso, and with Luna to slow to intercept, he fired Espanyol ahead. Tenerife tried to add extra spice to the forward line with the introduction of Saizar and Dinei, Nino had a late chance to tie the game but even a barrage balloon wouldn’t have been enough to help him score. The search for the first away point continues.

It should have been a day to remember for CD Tenerife coach Jose Luis Oltra, his 90th game in charge, beating a record dating back to 1972, but instead he was left to worry about his teams lack of goals. Just 3 in the first 6 games after this 1-0 home defeat to Deportivo, and some real sitters again went begging.

Defence was the problem pre game, Oltra had to shuffle his small pack to cover for a long term injury to Marc Bertran and a knock for Manolo, but the defence were fairly untroubled in the first half  against a less then impressive Deportivo side. Roman had 2 early goal chances and Richi put his shot over the bar after Nino set him up. After half an hour Nino put his shot wide with the goal at his mercy and Alfaro ended the half squandering an equally clear scoring chance.

Last season goals flowed easily for Tenerife, Nino and Alfaro have not become bad players overnight, but defences in La Liga are meaner, quicker and shrewder, and both players are struggling to adapt. Deportivo came back out looking hungrier and another set piece goal gave them the lead, Colotto finding himself unmarked from a corner. After that the visitors shut up shop and sat on their lead, as the game wore on they wasted time at every goal kick and their players hit the floor and writhed around at every opportunity.

Coach Oltra is always willing to push forward and brought on Dinei and Omar for Nunez and Richi, but it didn’t produce the goal spark. Roman picked up the booking he needed to ensure he is suspended for the away game at Espanyol, his loan deal prevents him from playing in that one anyway. Nino was denied by the Deportivo keeper and Alfaro headed wide as the minutes ticked away but there was no way back. Tenerife played well again, dominating the first half, but  its extra shooting practice for everyone in training this week.

England beat Wales and Aston Villa beat Everton as Felicity Johnson from Halesowen near Birmingham beat Becky Brewerton from St Asaph near Rhyl and it was every bit as thrilling as their favourite football teams could have served up.

Golf Costa Adeje was shimmering in the heat as the Tenerife Ladies Open 2009 entered the last day, I threaded my way through the course to find the leaders on the 12th hole and followed the dueling golfers, and Germanys Bettina Hauert through to the climax. There was a fair crowd following them and plenty of support staff with great jobs like holding up the “be quiet” signs or wetting the towels in a bucket to soothe the players. I restrained myself well and resisted the temptation to fart or have a coughing fit at a key moment.

I kept thinking about when I was younger (so much younger than today) and used to go scrumping golf balls up the local course near my parents, then I would sell them to other golfers, the balls that is not my parents. There are houses alongside parts of Golf Costa Adeje, and some people were watching from their gardens, well it beats the Eastenders omnibus. 

Anyway back in the modern world, it was close between the 2 Brits but Felicity proved stronger and won it at the 18th hole, finishing 14 under par, 2 shots ahead. That was the signal for wild celebrations as her friends rushed onto the green and sprayed her with champagne, maybe it should have been Brew Eleven or Banks’s Bitter to fit her Birmingham roots.

Apparently young Felicity is out on the town with her friends tonight, so don’t take any liberites with them or you may get a nine iron wrapped around your head, wonder if they will end up at Mystique, that’s a swingers club.  I must say as a non golf player, I did enjoy the 2 days action I saw and it must have been great publicity for Tenerife on Sky and Eurosport.