I thought I was being stalked, I saw it the first time at the main junction in central Los Cristianos, then the next time, there it was on the corner of Avenida Sueccia near the port road. Could it be the new Dr Who, come to wind back time to the start of the football season to save CD Tenerife? Or maybe it was some sort of phallic symbol for the Carnaval season?

It seems there are  many of them scattered around Arona, no one else seemed to be bothered by them, but I’m a right botherer. I tried to find a door or at least a slot to insert some money, just in case it was a Superloo, but no joy.

At last though things are becoming clearer, the heading “Columna de Libre Expresion” would seem to confirm my more mundane thoughts. The “Columns of Free Expression” are there for people to stick bits of paper on. All those tatty fly postings about apartment rentals, get rich quick schemes and lost dogs can now be posted on these official columns saving the lamp posts and bus shelters as they were meant to look.  Mind you I could be wrong, if they start making a grating sound and start to vanish, get well out of the way.

They may be a little old but I love to admire their curves and sleek bodywork, but enough about the mature ladies on the beach, lets look at the Autoepoca Classic Car Show in Santa Cruz. I headed up from Los Cristianos on the early 110 Titsa with Ian from the Armada Sur and his good lady. Isn’t fate cruel, I ended up sat at the back of the bus next to a Scottish family with a ginger sprog wearing a Real Madrid Ronaldo shirt – what self control I have.

Arriving in under an hour at Santa Cruz, us chaps headed off to the Recinto Ferial, buying our 3 euro tickets we waited outside for the dignitaries to complete the opening presentations. Looking around the concourse it was clear that there wasn’t going to be a mass scrum to get in, most people would no doubt visit after work or over the weekend. I’m no car fanatic but I appreciate the design and beauty of these great machines, the 200 cars and 50 motorbikes looked fantastic as they spread across the hall. It would have been nice if some brief descriptions of the motors and their history was displayed with them, mind you I was also hoping for a few dolly birds draped over the bonnets of the cars, maybe that’s just me.

Great names like Porsche, Ford, Ducatti, Kawasaki and Rolls Royce rang out from the highly polished chrome of the bikes and cars. There were a few more unusual models, early kit cars, camper vans, U.S Army jeeps, and police motor bikes. I also expected a few more trade stands, there were a few specialist dealers selling model cars and some technical gadetry for cleaning and preserving collectors wares, maybe more will turn up for the weekend.

Those are just small criticisms, at 3 euros the fair is great value and will evoke many memories of first cars and back seat fumbles. There is a large cafe bar upstairs if you want to take a break, good views over the hall as well. Autoepoca closes on Sunday March 7 and opens daily from 11am to 9pm. Walking down into the main shopping area of Santa Cruz, I showed Ian the CD Tenerife shop, they still have a sale on and a few new items to go with the kits, scarves etc. After meeting Ians good lady for a quick meal as we beat off the pigeons, we hoped on the tram from Guimera back to the bus station for our speedy 110 direct bus home.   For more details on the motors and more photos go to www.tenerifemagazine.com

…sang Marc Bolan. Little did I know, swinging my flares to T Rex in the 70’s, that one day I would be banging away, like J.Arthur Rank, inside a pitch black oil storage tank. The Espacio Cultural El Tanque was the venue, the converted tank is just up from the Auditorium, and just along from El Corte Ingles and the main bus depot.

Just in case the tank isn’t strange enough they have added an old American style coach as a walkway down from the street. Once past the reception, I took the dark path up and emerged in the barely lit interiorof the tank. As my eyes adjusted I could see the 18 gongs suspended in a circle around the tank, each was picked out in a spotlight and had a drum stick complete with fluffy cod ball head, just crying out to be swung at the gong. In the centre of the circle sat a white figure covered in letters that spelt out the names of seas, the huge steel girders still thrust up towards the top of the dome, where small lights twinkled like stars.

The work is called Jerusalem by Catalan artist Jaume Plensa, I was the only person inside the tank (apart from my non living statue friend) and the whole atmosphere was eerie. I sneezed and it echoed mockingly around the metal cage, good job I hadn’t been on the curry the night before, I just had to try a gong. The drumstick was suitably sturdy and the resonant crash as it hit the metal was wonderful, I savoured the shimmering sound and waited for a rush of action but it just settled back into that dark silence. Each gong has a verse written on it from Cantar de Cantares by King Soloman, they all refer to love in various forms such as “Love Is As Strong As Death, Jealousy Is Cruel As The Grave”. You have until 21 February to experience Jerusalem, from Noon to 8pm Monday to Saturday and 11am to 2pm on Sunday, and it’s FREE.

Outside, the real world had its own bizarre offerings, it’s Carnaval time, and the previous night was the biggest celebration to date, the Cabalgata (launch procession) followed by lots of drinking and dancing. It was a subdued and quiet Santa Cruz that greeted my early arrival, but within minutes of the TITSA bus entering the city, I noticed a few hairy men in dresses lurching along on their high heels. Plaza de España was being hosed down and the lake was securely sealed off to deter anyone thinking that they had become amphibious. I headed to Parque Garcia Sanabria for my first art assignment, the Cielo/Sky Part Two exhibition.

Parents were strolling with fancy dressed children in hand, as tired clowns crashed out on the grass looking less than jolly as the hangovers kicked in. I grabbed a coffee at the park cafe and found the organiser of the exhibition that features 12 Californian artists, part of a twinning link.  Shelby Graham curator of the Mary Porter Sesnon Art Gallery in Santa Cruz, California was joined by Miriam Durango, curator of the Circulo Belles Artes a short stroll away in Calle Castillo. There’s a full article on the California connection on www.tenerifemagazine.com

After whizzing off to El Tanque I crammed in some more art at TEA – Tenerife Espacio de las Artes in Avenida de San Sebastian, a real favourite of mine. The building is as much a work of art as the exhibitions, always a joy to visit, especially as the three main halls all have new displays, but more of that at a later date. Heading back into the centre of Santa Cruz, bodies were stirring and the hair of the dog was merging into the late afternoon preperations for some rousing street concerts. Some costumes were starting to look well lived in, but the Chicharreros can always dig deep to find more Carnaval energy. I already have a return visit booked for Monday nights CD Tenerife game v Mallorca, and will be diving into next Saturdays big party day and night, there’s never a dull moment in Tenerife.

Resilient and adaptable, that’s Tenerife. Last weeks record storms and rain fall made all the major media outlets around the world, a friend told me her daughter phoned from Australia to check on her, after reading about the deluge. If you read my previous post about Santa Cruz, you will know that within hours the emergency workers and council cleaners were on the case, a simliar response was also made down here in the south.

I was back swimming in calm seas at Las Vista beach, Los Cristianos within days, the beach did take a bit of a pounding but that has now being addressed. Inevitably the torrents of rain water rushed down to the coast, carrying debris from trees, rocks, and rubbish, when it hit the beach it carved its way through the sand to the shoreline. Forewarned, the beach workers stripped back  most of the wooden decking for the sunbeds and disabled areas, but some was still covered in the avalanche. Most of the shoreline debris was quickly scooped up, but there was an unexpected treasure trove as thousands of small shells washed up, great for any collectors. Yesterday there seemed to be a lot of broken bamboo coming in, hopefully we wont get a wave of Giant Pandas to follow.

The big boys moved in and JCB’s set about levelling the piles of sand, ready to re-lay all the decking. All this was done without distrubing those worshipping the returning bright, hot sunshine, and the movement of tides and sand, gave plenty of encouragement to the scavenging seagulls. So just a few days after the downpour, you would hardly notice that the beach was churning with the power and fury of the storm. It was good to see that even the beach volleyball courts were soon back in action, I lingered a while to check that the young female players were settling back in nicely.

If you want to see some stunning photos of the storm in and around Santa Cruz, at it’s height, check out the selection on the Tenerife Magazine Flickr account.

Living on a volcanic rock in the middle of the Atlantic, leaves you little protection when nature kicks up rough. The storms were forecast, but just toyed with us on Sunday before unleashing their fury yesterday. I was back in Santa Cruz today in the company of 18 British students from Bucks New University, over for practical research into tourism, and airline and airport management.

Having arrived from the recent snows of High Wycombe, and seen much of yesterdays rain through a coach window, they took much of what they saw in their stride. The 90 kms per hour winds, and 187 litres of rain water per square metre, left 25,000 homes without power, officially the worst storm since the infamous killer of 31 March 2002 that claimed 8 lives. All 7 islands were hit, with 25,000 people having to manage without power, schools were closed and transport was severely disrupted.

Falling rocks on the main north to south motorway meant the students had a 4 hour journey back from Puerto de la Cruz yesterday, but emergency staff had done a great job, and we arrived in Santa Cruz in barely an hour from Playa de Las Americas. Travel was also helped by the fact that today was a holiday, and not many had to take to the roads. That meant we were greeted by a quiet Santa Cruz with road junctions bogged down with rocky sludge, but council workers were already busy with shovels and brooms.

As we split up in search of the few places open, I found a tram abandoned at the Teatro Leal stop, the whole system for both lines was still closed down. Barranco Santos (above)  that runs down past the Heliodoro stadium, was flowing well, it was a raging torrent yesterday, I can never understand why they have built new roads and paths in there. A few cafes and shops were open, well the young visitors were there to observe the layout and general impression of the city, so they at least got a good general idea. On the way back to the coach, by the port, I spotted an emergency helicopter hovering and lifting an injured person to safety, although the sea was surprisingly calm.

Back on the coach and off to La Laguna, as the sun poked its way through the clouds. I showed principal lecturer and Doctor of Geotourism, Tom Hose around the historic centre, as most of the party went on to Los Rodeos airport to get a feel of how the place works, leaving a few others to scatter and explore La Laguna in their own way. There was much more open in La Laguna, and a feast of photo opportunities for our keen photographer doctor. The rain seemd to have done little damage to the historic centre of La Laguna, so the students found plenty to feed their enquiring minds before we headed back south. Keep an eye on www.tenerifemagazine.com for a more in depth look at the University field trip, and as for the rain, I think we have had more than enough of that for a good while.

Maybe I read too much Famous Five when I was young, but I love a mystery, so when one of my fellow early morning swimmers told me of Saturday morning mystery walking trips from Los Cristianos, I was keen. Pushing storm warnings to the back of my mind, but packing a warm jumper, I was ready outside the Apolo centre at 10am and ready to roll. About 50 mature (is that diplomatic enough) walkers had gathered and the organisers Frank, revelaed that El Medano was our destination.

A few wrong turns later, our motorcade parked up in El Medano just round the point at Playa Cabezo. Looking back I could see Montaña Roja, a walk I did a few weeks ago, rising up into a grey sky, but it was warm and we set off with enthusiasm. I have never seen such a range of hiking sticks, metal ones, knobbly gnarled wood ones, collapsable ones, and some that looked like James Bonds latest weapons, I’m not keen myself, but I can see that people do find them very useful, so good luck to them.

Off we set at a leisurely pace, along the sea front, the waves were kicking up a bit and Playa Cabezo was almost deserted, noy even any of the usual kite surfers. The path veered off past the Arenas del Mar hotel and around the many new developments that have sprung up at that end of El Medano. As we neared Montaña Pelada the path steepened until we had to split into those who wanted to tackle the 228 feet climb head on, and those wanting to skirt around it. Being a reckless fool I took the direct approach, and found it surprisingly testing with smooth sandstone slabs alternating with loose rocks. As always the view from the top was worth it, the wind turbines of ITER marched down to the sea ahead of us to the east, and to the west the path led down through the national park to the sea of solar panels.

ITER (the institute of renewable energy) has been spreading out in recent years, the walk down to the edge of the protected park took us just past the other entrance point to take a snack stop on the perimeter wall by the latest ITER panels. As we waited, the party that went around the mountain joined us ready for the mush flatter walk back to the start point. In all it took us about two and a half hours, and was very enjoyable. On the final leg I discovered that one of the chaps walking was from my home city Oxford, so we took a detour dowm memory lane.

Don’t ever assume that it is just the younger generation that are plugged into technology, one of the ladies informed me that her IPod  had recorded her as taking 11,300 steps, don’t ask me how, I’m Betamax Man. Apparently 1,320 steps are one km, making our journey 8.5 kms or around 5 miles. I am officially impressed by that information. I’m sure I will be dipping into these walks again.

Two things you should know about horses and donkeys, at one end they look cute, attentive, and loving, but at the other end – well, don’t even go there. So trying to make sure I was always at the smiling end of the cattle, I choose my steps wisely at the Fiesta San Sebastian in La Caleta.

San Sebastian is a patron saint of Adeje, the area where fishing village La Caleta can be found, San Antonio de Abad is the saint of the animal kingdom, and as his day was last Sunday, the two celebrations merged and the waste land near the church became a makeshift farmyard for the day. As a religious service was held in the church, thousands of people thronged outside and through the fair of food and drink stalls. It was a scorching day and large Canarian farming gentlemen slaked their thirst with cold beers as they awaited the procession of the animals to the beach.

You could hear the ooos and aaahs for miles as families gathered around the animal pens and admired, stroked, and patted horses, foals, donkeys, bullocks, goats, sheep and rams. Most of the animals were quite content in the shade, I tried feeding a noisy child to a large goat, but it refused the offer. Some budding  jockeys were riding the small horses up and down in front of proud parents, and their keepers lent on their wooden staffs swapping tales with their friends.

Just after noon the horses took up position in the road and began their short but packed journey to the beach. Some of the most up market hotels in Costa Adeje are in this area but even their clientel were scrambling up posts, balconies, and anywhere else they could secure a good view. Most of the horses trotted along the road but a few of the leading ones performed some balletic side stepping as they brushed past expensive cars. As they reached the beach a few fireworks were let off with loud bangs, this did little to disturb the horses, although anyone with a handy shovel could have ensured a good return on their garden for a few months to come.

As the procession fanned out onto the Playa de la Enramada, the horses were almost skipping through the sand as they headed for the shore. A little hesitant hoofing at the water soon convinced them that it was good to go in, many went in pretty deep as their riders were soaked up to the waist. The donkeys weren’t going to be left out, and they gleefully took to the water as the full banks of the Los Toscas mound peered down. It really was a perfect scene, a clear blue sky featued several hang gliders riding the thermal currents, and the eager crowd crunched over the pebbles to get a better view as the tide lapped at their feet.

Gradually the horses began to leave the water, and the statue of San Sebastian was carried shoulder high to the shore to be splashed with sea water and blessed. As the huge crowd slowly dispersed, there was no mistaking the awe and murmours of approval at another of the set piece events that Tenerife does so well. The celebrations for San Antonio de Abad will carry on all week and more animal dipping will take place up north at the weekend, find out more about the Saint and the ceremonies at www.tenerifemagazine.com

Always check your holiday insurance, does it cover you against a bombardment of boiled sweets? if not you could have been in trouble with the Reyes eve arrival of the 3 Kings. January 6 is Epiphany, the day the 3 kings or wise men arrived at the stable with gifts for Jesus, and in Spain it is the biggest celebration of the festive season.

Tenerife relishes any excuse for a party, and all over the island last night crowds gathered to welcome Gaspar, Melchor and Balthasar on their camels  to many towns and villages. In Adeje the kings arrived at the local football ground by helicopter, it takes quite a while to cram the camels in and put their seat belts on, while in Santa Cruz 20,000 people queued up last week for free tickets to CD Tenerife’s Heliodoro stadium for a spectacular show. Normally the capital kings use a helicopter but this year they arrived from the port in a big parade (cabalgata) which included some of the CDT players.

Down here in Los Cristianos the ferry port is always the starting point, then the procession works its way up through town to the cultural centre where a stage awaits the kings and a makeshift manger and stable adds to the festive feel. The parade was headed last night by dancers, a snow machine, acrobats and a whole series of costumed youngsters. There was much jostling for key viewing positions in the packed streets as the excitement built, as the camel mounted kings came into view there was some good natured scrummong as the wise men threw handfuls of sweets into the crowd. Parents seemed equally as excited as the kids, at one point I was pressed between a group of yummy mummys, how nice.

By the time the procession reached the stage, a massive crowd had built up and after some music and dancing, the kings took their thrones and children began to go up to collect their presents. The police seemed much more relaxed this year, people were allowed through most of the barriers, families were able to pose for photos in the stable area with the donkey, chickens and goats while Mary and Joseph waved from the manger. I saw one little rascal throwing small stones at the chickems to make them run around their pen, bless.

Reyes is a great tradition, enjoyed equally by locals and tourists, today is very much a family day as presents are unwrapped. Phew that’s all the festive stuff out of the way, just time to draw breath before Carnaval season begins.

Snow driving in from the mountains, icebergs floating towards the beach, and penquins with bobble hats and scarfs on. Well, not quite, but the Tenerife night had a little chill in the air forcing me to wear jeans instead of my usual shorts –  oh what hardships I endure. After a very liquid christmas, I was determined to tone down my New Year celebrations, and didn’t go out until 11pm.

In recent years the local council have tweaked and fine tuned the arrangements for the big night, this year there was no stage and fair in the old car park by the Valdes centre. Things were a bit more spread out with a stage set up outside the cultural centre and several temporary bars in the nearby area, sealed off to traffic. It worked well, the stage area drew people in and even before the magic hour, locals and tourists were dancing happily as the giant screen made sure everyone got to see, as well as hear the music.

Onward to the beach, and it was pretty busy, people were grabbing vantage points ready for the fireworks. The restaurants were getting a welcome boost to end a poor years trade, and there was a sprinkling of kilts and fancy dress. Many brought their own drink, bags clanking with bottles and glasses, and bunches of grapes ripe for eating. The Spanish tradition is to sip champagne or Cava, and eat one grape for every strike of midnight. Supermarket chain Hipertrebol, offered a slight twist on that, selling cheap satsumas and cider for the day.

The anticipation grew as midnight approached, there are no audible bells near the beach so it was a very rough guess as to the precise moment, but once a few cheers went up and the first colourful rocket ripped through the sky, everyone started popping corks, hugging, dancing and showering their neighbours with best wishes for 2010. The fireworks were impressive as ever, volleys of light shot up from several launch pads, on Montaña Chayofita overlooking the beach, and out along the bay by the bigger hotels. The show lasted a good 15 minutes with necks craning to catch all the displays at the same time, as the last shower of colour faded, rapturous applause rang out and the serious dancing and drinking began.

I bumped into a few of the Armada Sur and we reflected on the past mammoth year for CD Tenerife, raising a glass to hopes of stability in La Liga. I threaded my way back past the stage, by now a swirling mass of dancing bodies, and called into the Apolo centre to join the Blues Brothers party at The Don John bar. My good intentions were eroded a little and I eventually got home at 4am but it was a nice way to launch 2010.

…it’s been a few years since I wrote to you, but I thought I would drop a line this year. What I want for christmas this year is peace and goodwill between all people, an end to all war and bloodshed, no more famine or droughts, and love and understanding between all nations of the world.

BUT failing that, I will settle for a CD Tenerife home win over Athletico Madrid this Sunday, and a crate of Dorada!