Not a single drop of drink had passed my lips, yet there I was looking up at a talking moose and surrounded by clinking steins of Bavarian beer and some very British carol singing. Well I was in Manchester and christmas, a clammy fog, and frost, were in the air. What a welcome back to England for my 10 day pre yuletide visit.

Staying with the lovely Pam, I was starting on the first leg of my trip, with a visit into Manchester city centre to check out the shops and the big street markets. The millenium type, big wheel was still standing proud by the Arndale centre and shoppers were bustling, less encouraged by the V.A.T cut, brought in  a few days ahead of December 1st, and more driven by a Jack the Ripper scale slashing of prices.

The biggest of the street markets was one with a European theme, in front of the Town Hall, loads of crafts and foods, mainly from Germany, France and Holland, were pulling in the punters, but most people wer cramming into the large wooden chalets cum beer kellers, and it was on the roof of one of these that the afore mentioned moose was turning his head and making small talk. We stayed long enough to enjoy the cold before taking the packed Metro back to Radcliffe to thaw out.

Then on to Sunday, we headed out to Liverpool to do the tourist thing and visit the new Liverpool One shopping area, the old site of The Cavern and Albert Docks, thankfully the sun decided to shine, raising the temperature to just bloody cold. The main focus of the day was a jaunt out to nearby Crosby beach, don’t worry, even I wouldn’t swim in this freezing weather. The 2 mile stretch of remote beach is home to a work of art called “Another Place” by Anthony Gormley, the man responsible for The Angel Of The North. As the tide was begining to seep in the 100 human size iron statues stood defiant and alert gazing out to sea. 

The identical statues, are 189 cm (6 foot 2) tall and weigh 650 kg (1,400 lb) and based on a cast of the sculptors body, he must have been rather happy when the cast was taken, the statues are much more perky than they deserve to be in such a cold harsh setting. This was just one feature that aroused (a very appropriate word) a lot of complaints when the statues were installed in 2005, initially for a short stay. Before dropping anchor in Crosby, the work had been in situe at Cuxhaven, Germany, Stavinger, Norway, and De Panne, Belguim.

Locals warmed to the iron men and they are now a permanent great tourist attraction and discussion point. Anthony Gormley intended them to represent the ebb and flow of life and our attitude to it, the statues are placed at various points from the shore and the tide covers them as it comes in, so you get a different perspective depending on what time of day and year you view them. They are fixed in place and unstealable but of course are open to every joker in the area. On our visit, one statue had a santa hat and beard added, i’m sure they have featured in many peoples holiday photos, some in poses that would shame a Tory MP.

Despite the shifting wet sand, the biting cold and the fact I was missing a CD Tenerife home game, I as delighted by this whimsical and visual display of art. Now how about something similar on Los Cristianos beach in Tenerife, maybe statues of typically British holiday makers with blotchy sunburn and string vests? Well, it’s only an idea. 

Do you remember boring school trips to stuffy art galleries, where the highlight of your day was noshing your curled cheese sandwiches and thinking that at least it was a day free from the classroom? Art has come a long way since then and the 2 week old TEA, Tenerife Espacio de las Artes, in Santa Cruz, is here to blast those memories away with a wide ranging and challenging array of photos, paintings, sculptures - and even a man with bread rolls tied round his face !

Minimalist, thats the word I was groping for as I entered the 20,000 square metre building in Avenida de San Sebastian. The entrance hall is large, open and with a high ceiling and polished light wood block flooring and leads to a tight spiral stairwell serving the 3 exhibition halls. Tear drop shaped lights hang from the ceiling with long slender stalks welling into glass bowls holding the light bulbs, quite a first impression.

Deciding to be organised about this, I started with La Coleccion in Sala A and let one of the 3 attendants pierce my ticket and usher me inside. The high, bright and white theme is repeated in here with the first 2 rooms housing giant photos of reclining figures, a couple of their subjects none too shy about what they reveal to the camera. I take photos as a neccessity to go with my writing, i’m no photographer, and I’m in awe of those who can master the lens like these exhibitors have. A familar figure reclines in the centre of the second room, Henry Moore’s “El Guerrero de Goslar” (above) has been living on the street in Rambla del General Franco since the 1973 “Art In The Street” exhibition brought several outside sculptures to Santa Cruz.

As I passed through the rooms I noticed that the few visitors on this Wednesday afternoon were outnumbered by the attendants, is it the sign of a good gallery if the security guards eyes seem to follow you around the room? A big chunk of La Coleccion is devoted to Tenerife’s famous painter Oscar Domiguez, who was born in Santa Cruz and died in Paris, where he had become a surrealist. I had only seen bits of his work but was pretty impressed with the works on offer here, he could certainly push a paint brush around.

There’s a nice mix of art at TEA, sculptures form a centre piece in most of the rooms, with paintings, pictures and even video clips around the walls. You can’t beat a bit of abstract work though, and a pair of wellies, squares of stone tiling and a ladder entwined with flourescent light tubes were among some of the more unusual and interesting sights.

Time to adjourn to the library, if Harry Potter and Doctor Who went to school together on a far flung planet, this would be their library. Massive, sprawling and very airey, the contents of the ancient Santa Cruz main library are gradually being transferred, but there are rows on rows of shelves, work desks, comfy sofas, magazine racks amd 36 internet ready computers for free use. The tear drop lights swarm down from the ceiling and when the sun shines through the side windows, the 2 wings are bathed in light amplified by the bright white desks. The attached cafe was not open on my visit but looked big enough to quench a thirst for knowledge.

Onward to the other halls, first the Sala C for Un Arma Visual, a montage of posters and memorabilia of life in the Soviet Union from 1917 to 1953. Stark, regimented and austere as you would expect, but very interesting all the same. And finally Sala B for Cosmos, in search of the origins from Kupka to Kubrick. I’m a bit of a sci fi buff so this was right up my space time vortex. A nice mix of mediums including footage from the space programme and some very speculative paintings. My favourite exhibit of the afternoon was The Last Room - a mental odyssey by Mathieu Briand. This stately cooled white room with sparse furniture and illuminated floor panels played on the senses with eerie background sound effects like breathing and the odd glass breaking, a very odd sensation.

Now about that man with the bread fettish, his name is Tatsumi Orimoto, I only got to see photos and film of his performance art exploits, but on the opening night of TEA, he and a few friends performed live with large amounts of bread rolls attached to their heads. The performance area has seating and awaits the next challenging display.

Emerging from TEA I felt I had been thoroughly immersed in the arts, and felt a lot better for it, it’s a fantastic addition to the cultural life of Tenerife. The shop next door has some unusual gift ideas for the art lover in your life and lots of specialist books on some of the featured artists. If you want to visit TEA, it’s just a short walk along from the bus station, next to Barranco Santos, opposite the African market. Opening times are 10 am to 8 pm every day except monday, entrance is 5 euros for adults, 2.50 for residents, and just one euro if you are over 65 or under 26. www.teatenerife.es

Sometimes there are great discoveries right under your nose, this proved to be the case with the African market in the Tenerife capital Santa Cruz. Our football coach passes it on the way back from home games and I keep meaning to go and have a nose around inside. It’s referred to as the African market, but the full name is Mercado de Nuestra Senora de Africa (market of our lady of Africa) and many people, myself included, assume that it sells the sort of tacky crafts and souvenirs sold around the bars of the south. Today was a pleasant revelation for me.

Opened on January 4 1944, the arched entrance leads into three spacious courtyards and a very welcome attack on your senses. Flowers, plants, vegetables, meat, sweets, wine and much more, you name it , they have it at one of the bustling shops. The clock tower dominates the centre and the skyline of the nearby area, and today the christmas tree had just taken up residence. Downstairs is another collection of intimate shops including eco friendly food outlets, but your nose will lead you to the large fishmongers market where you can come face to gills with every manner of sea creature caught locally.

Back upstairs, there is a childrens play area, and a selection of cafe bars, including one where you can sit out in the courtyard and watch the shoppers hustle by, I had a coffee at a bar where the bar stools had home made embroidered covers, that seems to sum up the feeling of pride the traders have in their market.

There is one cloud on this happy horizon, the Sunday rastro (flea market) that takes place outside is under legal threat. Residents of a new building in Calle Bravo Murillo, have denounced the rastro for noise and mess, despite it being there long before they came along. The courts have ruled in their favour and banned any stalls within 350 metres of any building, this is potentially a blow a busy local area that also includes a permanent street bazaar in Rambla Azul. The traders in the African market are organising opposition to the ruling and apealing to the local council to find a better solution.

More power to their busy elbows, it’s nice to see traditional markets thriving in the heart of the big hi tech capital that Santa Cruz has become. The African market is open every day from 7 am to 6 pm, and is just a short walk from the main bus station.

Looking up from Las Vistas beach in Los Cristianos, many people wonder just what that big hill is that looks down on them. The answer is Montaña Chayofita, a volcanic mound complete with crater, that rises to 116 metres above sea level. It’s just one of many mountains and hills in Tenerife, beyond it you will see the much larger Roque del Conde with its distinct table top.

Two years ago Arona council did a series of free guided walks up the local mountains and I greatly enjoyed trying them all out, now seems a good time to re-visit some of them, starting with this small but interesting local peak. Arona council have recently done some work on the mountain to improve the paths to the top, and to shore up a few areas where the crater was subsiding.

The best way to approach Chayofita is down the slip road alongside the Avenida de Chayofita (the dual carriageway) as it heads from Los Cristianos to Playa de las Americas.  There’s a partly built road that leads up the coast side of the mountain to the abandoned shell of a restaurant that was  never completed. It’s amazing how the project ever got so far on this protected site, it now remains fenced and chained and an eyesore that needs demolishing. Anyway there are 2 main tracks up the mountain, one just as you leave the road, by the name board and the other further along the abandoned road, between 2 large whitewashed stones.

I picked a bright early morning for my walk and there were quite a few others taking to the high ground. The textures and colours of the rocks were really inspiring and made me wish I had a talent for painting. As I follwed the path, marked by large rocks either side of the trail, it started to curl and climb into the centre of the old crater. Working up the side of the mountain, Arona and Adeje spread out behind me in the distance, with future walking challenges already forming in my mind. At the top of the peak, I could see the full extent of the sprawl of Los Cristianos punctuated with swimming pools at various hotels and the open green space of Golf Las Americas.

Las Vistas beach was slowly filling up but most of the sunbeds were empty, set out in their regimented patterns as the sea lapped at the shore and the bays further around the coast. La Gomera was slightly hazy in the distance but moving along the ridge and higher up, the port came into full view with the Fred Olsen ferry ready to head out to the other islands. At the highest point, there are clear views to all sides and out to Guaza mountain and beyond to Palm Mar and the Rasca lighthouse.

Looking down at the crater, the contrast of the layers of rock is a start reminder o0f the volcanic nature of Tenerife and the clumps of cactus and small ferns show that even in such challenging landscapes, there is plenty of life. Leaning over the edge, I could see the courtyard of the part finished restaurant below, quite a lot of ornate stone work had already been completed but apart from the odd squatter passing through, it was all wasted.

Taking the path back to ground level, there seemed no end to the stream of explorers, some armed with state of the art walking poles. The whole trip took just over an hour and the climb is not too challenging with sturdy trainers, it’s a great way to get a different view of how the modern resort of Los Cristianos has grown in the shade of the volcanic hills and mountains of south Tenerife.

Squeezing a jaunty tune out of his accordian, the beggar in Calle del Castillo was fighting a losing battle as heavy rain scattered Santa Cruz visitors today. Leaving the sunny south behind, I had gone up north with John Beckley, owner of Sorted Sites, who use my scribblings on many web and blog sites. After a couple of promising meetings, I declined the offer of a lift back, to defy the weather and go exploring, there is always something new to see in Santa Cruz.

A tram ride took me to La Paz and a chance to pay my respects to the Cine Victor, the grand old cinema that is nearing the end of its days. Opened on April 22 1954, architect Jose Enrigue Marrero Regalado, left his creative signature on the ornate and imposing building, especially the inside. Downstairs 550 seats have welcomed many a keen film goer, and another 225 upstairs have ensured that a night at the pictures was an enjoyable experience in the heart of the capital.

Sadly time has overtaken the building and a 5 year commitment by the Tenerife government to show special film seasons and maintain the general running of the cinema, ends on December 31. Today at 8.30 pm they were showing Blithe Spirit, from 1945, the last in a season of films by British director David Lean, to mark the 100th anniversary of his birth.

Tomorrow, Friday October 31, the TEA, Tenerife Espacio de Artes is officially opened and they will include film shows in their vast programme of arts. The lights are dimming for the Cine Victor as their are no takers to continue tearing the entrance tickets at a cost of 6,000 euros rent per month, it may end up converted into accomodation or commercial units.

Moving down towards Plaza de España, I darted from shelter to shelter until reaching the entrance to the Castillo de San Cristobal, or at least the remains of it. Built in 1575 with 4 mighty corner bastions, the castle was a key defence in warding off would be invaders like Lord Nelson in July 1797. Originally it was in the sea on a reef called Blas Diaz but as land was reclaimed it became a dry fortress until its demolition in 1928. When the renovation of the Plaza de España began a few years ago, part of the original battlements and a canon were unearthed and an underground display gallery has been set up explaining the history of the area. Entry is free via a stairway on the marina side of the Plaza de España, and the new opening times are 10am to 6pm on weekdays, closed Tuesdays, and 11am to 7pm on Saturdays and Sundays.

Braving the rain again, i had decided to treat myself to a new CD Tenerife shirt from the official club shop in Callejon de Combate, just up from the Plaza de España, turn right at the BBVA bank in Calle de Castillo and then left between the other 2 banks. Was it to be the 2nd strip blue shirt or the 3rd strip claret shirt? Sod it, I got them both. Feeling a little guilty at this extravagence, I needed a sign that I had done the right thing. On the walk back to the bus station, I passed a huge billboard featuring Liverpool striker Fernando Torres in his modelling role for El Corte Ingles department store. The look on his face confirmed that he approved of my wild purchase, good enough for me. Of course there will be economies as a result of this spending, so all anyone will get from me this christmas is a walnut and a satsuma - still it’s the thought that counts.  

So they were knocking on a bit, and had probably been touched up quite regularly in their lives, but as the sun shone on their sleek firm forms, men drooled and longed to run their hands over their body work. No, I’m not talking about the beach, these grand old ladies were a dozen antique classic cars, on parade in Avenida Venezuela, Puerto de la Cruz. It was the first of a 3 day festival, Puerto in Bloom, which very handily, started on the International Day of the Tourist.

Arriving on the outskirts of the city at La Paz, I cast a quick eye over the mirador (viewpoint) at the calm sea below and the clear sky, a perfect day. The Gobierno (Canaries government) has just approved a 500,000 euro injection to spruce up the mirador with new paving and surrounds, but the view is priceless. Turning to go down the walkway into the city, a large billboard bordered the path with full details of the 3 days events (download a copy from the website ) but basically there will be song, dance, talks by botanical experts and floral displays. The boards and the smaller leaflets, also show where Puertos parks, gardens and fountains can be found.

Seeing the display of antique cars was due soon, I hurried on to see the magnificent beasts arrive and take up their positions. Great names like Ford, Chevrolet and Morris jostled for attention and revived memories for many old drivers. The green Morris 8 caught my eye, as many of their cars were made at Abingdon, near my home city of Oxford, and I was surprised to see that the silver lady was missing above the grill on the Rolls Royce and a shiny gold screw cap covered the base where she can presumably be removed or added as required.

Leaving the motors, I made a detour to the information centre to pick up some leaflets and made a nice discovery nearby in the Calle Agustin de Bethencourt, just behind the fishermans beach. A new shop specialising in Belguim beers has opened, and it beckoned me in. La Maison Belge is crammed full of some fine strong beers like Leffe, Duval and Kwak, all complete with their own special serving glasses, the assistant also told me they would soon be adding Belguim cheeses, and chocolates.

Prising myself out of the shop, I headed back to the seafront by the Lago de Martianez to see the 16 marquees that were selling flowers, plants, water gardens and much more. The Avenida Colon is a popular walkway at the best of times, but the prescence of so much floral colour and scents attracted even more people, and the strolling Dixieland Jazz Band put a spring in everyones step.

This is the first Puerto in Bloom but the signs are good that it will become a regular fixture on the calender. It’s on till Monday night so you can still catch up with the fun and treat your senses to their own special day.

What better way to celebrate the 30 th birthday of TITSA, the Tenerife government owned public bus company, than with a trip on one of their trusty steeds to the main bus station in the capital, Santa Cruz, to join in the party.

The name TITSA is derived from Transportes Interurbanos de Tenerife and in their 30 year history their buses have covered 1,000 million kms, that’s 36.5 million kms a year, and while I’m wheeling out the stats, they have 1,700 staff and 604 buses.

Gripping my Bono, multi journey ticket, I caught the 110 direct bus from Los Cristianos to Santa Cruz, and just an hour and 4.45 euros later, we glided into the top tier of the main station, caught between the shadow of the high rise Corte Ingles super store, and the hook nosed auditorium. If you are not already aware, I’m a big fan of the Tenerife bus service, pretty reliable and at your service 365 days a year, it is my magic carpet to many remote and bizarre places. Not only do they run on christmas day and all Canarian holidays, they also put on specail extras for events like Carnaval and last Fridays Gloria Estafan concert, on the outskirts of the capital.

The bus station had a big revamp a few years ago to allow the front to house one terminal of the new tram service. The top tier now has the stops for the island wide services, the second is home to those serving the capital and it’s outlying district, and the ground floor is split between a large underground car park and the main concourse. This main area is bright and airy due to high glass windows on all sides, and has a pretty decent cafe area that does tapas and main meals. In the centre of the open area I found the promised birthday exhibition.

Not quite what I expected, a series of large stacked cubes with scenes of the companies history depicted on all the faces, no birthday cake or champers - shame, maybe they are just modest. The Tenerife government are weighing in with their own birthday present, 150 million euros between now and 2012. It will be used for new buses, new routes, increased frequencies, new stops and new bus lanes, this Wednesday 45 new environmentally friendly buses will be presented to TITSA - pity the councillor that has to gift wrap that lot.

With no sign of any party hats or jelly and ice cream, I thought it best to head off exploring, then I remembered a sculpture exhibition at Casa de la Cultura, that I had intended to look at earlier in its September long run. After taking the tram to Teatro Guimera for some food and drink, I sussed out that 2 streets back and just up Calle Miraflores, I could catch a 026 bus up to the north of Santa Cruz to Parque la Granja and the library cum exhibition hall on the corner. Built in 1995, said the plaque, but the building looked old and a bit neglected, after a quick look in the vast and well equipped library I followed the signs down the stairs to the Sala La Granja and the large plain white room where Vision de Genero (vision of gender) by local sculptor Rosa Hernandez was on display.

The 12 female figures splayed in their death throes on the floor, oozed small pools of sand to represent blood and were certainly haunting and different. With my culture quota satisfied, I headed back down into the heart of Santa Cruz, past the altogether more cheery Parque la Granja, well kept and speckled with joggers and students. Passing the heart warming sight of CD Tenerife’s ground below me, and crossing Barranco Santos, I was soon at La Paz for a quick snack before heading down to the Plaza de España and back to the bus station.

The new trams struck a nice contrast with the TITSA buses swarming into the station, and there is even a specially decorated tram for the TITSA birthday. Maybe in just under 29 years, the trams will have their own 30th birthday to mark, in the meantime I shall raise a beer to the jolly green buses, many happy returns.

Culture vultures can find plenty to feast on in Tenerife, there is a rich tradition of theatres, but sadly many habe been allowed to slip into disrepair. This was the case with Teatro Leal in La Laguna, built in 1915 to the design of Antonio Pintor, the curtain came down 18 years ago and no one has trod the boards since. Thankfully a restoration programme led by local architect, Ladislao Diaz Marquez, has brought it back to its former glory, and with the lure of free tours from 5 to 8 pm this week, I headed up to La Laguna to have a look at the 620 seat theatre.

Arriving in Calle Obispo Rey Redondo at 4pm, I found about a dozen people waiting outside, and no notices about the tour, groups of 15 were being allowed in according to the local newspaper coverage, so with an hour to kill, I adjouned to a nice pizzeria just down the street. Popping back with 10 minutes to opening, the scene had changed, there was now about 100 people waiting in an orderley queue, but as the bells of the nearby Torre de la Concepcion struck 5, an official appeared and handed out a few small tickets to the front of the queue and said that was it for today, it seems a leader of a small tour party had already snaffled up most of them, leaving many of us locked out. Amid nuch waving of arms and loud complaints, the crowd converged on the entrance but the stony faced security man was adamant, culture for the masses? not today my son.

Leaving the angry mob to do what angry mobs do best, I made an exit stage left, hopefully I will get back for a performance some time. The first show is on September 18 at 9pm, when the Tenerife Symphony Orchestra will perform works of Mozart and Beethoven, with guest performers, pianist Guillermo Gonzalez and soprano Maria Oran. The big night will be in October, date to be announced, when Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia of Spain attend a gala launch.

With theatre still in my thoughts, I caught the tram down to Santa Cruz and the Teatro Guimera. Unlike the grand frontage of Teatro Leal, this older venue, built in 1848, has quite a plain outside, but your attention is drawn to it by a large sculture of a theatrical mask. Called, Por Adriano, it was made by Igor Mitchaj in 1993 and adds a nice focal point to the building. Sadly there is a little graffiti on the nose, obviously not deterred by the Spanish law that protects sites of historic heritage, and carries a prison sentence of between 6 months and 6 years.

The theatre was as I expected closed, but as you can see from this photo I took through the keyhole (someone might believe that) it is rather grand. Antonio Pintor designed the inside here as well and it is fairly typical of Canarian theatres, a horseshoe shaped seating area on 4 levels facing the stage. Looking at the forthcoming productions, I had picked out one of interest to Brits over here. On Octoner 3 and 4 the New London Consort conducted by Philip Pickett will be performing a baroque opera by Henry Purcell called Dido & Aeanas. Tickets range from 45 euros to 20, the box office opens 10am to 1pm and 6pm to 8pm each weekday or you can buy online at www.generaltickets.com.

I shall definately be keeping a close eye on forthcoming productions at the 2 theatres and look forward to enjoying some uplifting performances as i enjoy my choc ice and kiora.

With my friend Pam over for a week, i’m in tourist mode, showing her the delights of the island. Saturday was a good day, an early start on the 343 Los Cristianos to Puerto de la Cruz bus, saw us at La Paz lookout point for a swift walk down to Plaza Reyes Catolicos for the free “Noddy” train to  Loro Parque, just before midday. I had doubted my decision to go to Loro Parque on a Saturday, and expected us to have to wait for at least a couple of packed trains to go before we could get on, but a train was parked up and waiting for extra passengers, no sign of the usual queue snaking around the plaza.

Arriving at Loro Parque, we got in quick, again no queues, a worrying measure of the current tourism slump. The park was, as always, fantastic, well organised, great fun and packed with shows and animals to see. At the entrance they were giving out leaflets for Siam Park and there were adverts in the Loro Parque guide, all saying “coming soon” . Before the Orca whale show, the giant screen showed an advert for Siam Park, and it flashed up the announcement “opening on September 16″ that is the day after the official inauguration. There has been no confirmation of this date for letting the public in, but dare we hope ? It would be nice.

After a great few hours at the park, we got the bus across to Santa Cruz for the evenings CD Tenerife v Natic Tarragona football match, the start of the Segunda Division (one below Real Madrid, Barcelona etc)  league campaign. The crowd was a little bit dissapointing at 10,882, considering the red hot form of CDT in the pre season friendlies, but the atmosphere, fuelled by a few pre match beers, was electric.

The first half was pretty awful, with both sides struggling to put any good moves together, but Tenerife were fortunate to get a penalty just before the half time whistle. Diop fouled Sicilia in the box and Nino stepped up to open, hopefully, another high scoring season for him. Nastic soon dampened the enthusiasm with an equaliser after the restart, Moises heading the leveller.

Worse was to come after 72 minutes as Arpon made it 2-1 for the visitors, this was not going to plan at all. We needed a hero and after 74 minutes, local lad Angel was brought on, the game was slipping away when he made it 2-2 with a well taken charge on the Nastic goal with just 5 minutes play left. The volume was cranked up and Angel had the crowd in heaven 2 minutes later, heading a winner, cue wild singing and dancing on the terraces, the phrase “get out of jail” comes to mind.

All in all, a fine day, a jolly trip back down south on the Armada Sur coach, and a few more beers, rounded off a perfect day, maybe this will be our season.

Battle has raged in Santa Cruz this weekend, bodies have been battered and bruised, and screams of horror and anguish have rung out as the brightly coloured spoils of war are worn with pride. Anyway, that’s enough about the women at the sales that are under way in the capital, it’s also been the biggest celebration yet of Tenerife’s defeat of the British Navy under Admiral Nelson on July 25 1797.

I went up early on Saturday to take in the big parade and then move on to the Spanish Athletics Championships in Tincer, but reading the paper on the bus, I discovered it was a complete sell out, one hurdle I didn’t see coming. Never mind, the reports of Fridays re-enactment of Nelsons forces landing at Castillo San Juan, next to the auditorium, whet my appetite for the big parade from Plaza del General Weyler (from the Spanish Civil War) , down the Calle del Castillo towards the Plaza de España and the seafront.

The massed ranks of British and Spanish forces arrived at 11.30, right on time, well 211 years late if you want to be picky, and stood easy for countless photo opportunities. I got to speak to some Brits taking part “Rommels Raiders” these lucky chaps get to travel all over the world portraying battles from various ages of British history, and were delighted to be invited to share in La Gesta (an epic achievement). Captain ( Sir Thomas ) Troubridge, looked replendent in his black tunic and white trousers, even if he did have an uncanny resemblence to Stephen Fry. On this occaision he was happy to pose with the “enemy” but all those years ago he took over from Nelson, after the great leader had been blasted in the right elbow by grapeshot from a canon as he came ashore. 

After a while, the drum rolls summoned the forces together, more than a few had found there way into local bars, and they set off down the Calle with great pomp and style. Reaching the Plaza de la Candelaria, they lined up for inspection by their leaders and speeches were made. The Spanish governor of Tenerife in 1797, Juan Antonio Gutierrez, looking triumphant in his braided hat with white wig and gold cane, congratulated his men on their bravery. The British spokesman, amused the British tourists in the crowd by announcing “we struggled yesterday, but I still think we can win this, and think of the prize money”.

There was a lot of shared language among the rival performers, and some good spirited banter. It’s amazing to think that even after the 226 deaths in the failed attack, Nelson and Gutierrez had such a mutual respect for each other, they swapped gifts and Nelson was invited to dine with the Governor, and Nelsons name is not hated as you might expect, but grudgingly admired to this day. The massed forces set off to the seafront, past the Cabildo (Tenerife government) headquarters, where the flags of Spain, Tenerife and The Canaries fluttered proudly in the breeze. Tonight there will be much dancing and of course fireworks - and maybe even the odd flagon of ale or Tenerife wine.