March 17, that was the day I was shown around Siam Park, the water kingdom theme park in Costa Adeje, that was already well over a year late to open. There was clearly quite a bit left to do, none of the rides were ready to board, although I did get to go to the top of the Tower of Power, where a workman was still on all fours cementing the tower edging. I was quite happy to report the stated May 1 opening date, but that soon came and went.

Now the headlines in the local press are proudly announcing the September 15 official inauguration of the park, complete with guest of honour, the Princess of Thailand. Sadly it’s another false dawn, the inauguration is behind closed doors for dignitaries, politicians etc and it will not signal the opening to the public. Given the usual vague nature of the latest press release, I contacted the press department to clarify things and got a reply saying “We are planning on doing a soft opening after the inauguration ceremony and then open to the public. We will notify when we have an exact date.”

The soft opening is the vital testing period by invited parties of people, ticket sales agents, tour operators etc, to try out the facilities. No matter how good any plans are, there are always practical problems once in use, in the building trade they always have to deal with a “snagging list” of such problems, once a place is in use.Until that hurdle is jumped, there can be no proper opening date, if the soft opening discovers problems, then there could be even more delay.

It’s not good for the image of Tenerife, holiday makers that felt let down at not being able to visit Siam Park, are now coming back for their next holiday and finding it still “nearly ready” you would think someone might be keen to recoup some of the 55 million euros (Siam Parks figure) it has cost to build.Oh well, roll on christmas.

You can tell the year has sped by, when the annual Pinolere craft show gears up for three days of tasty history, high up above Puerto de la Cruz, in the foothills of the La Orotava valley. This year will be the 23rd annual show and it runs from Friday September 5 to Sunday September 7.

So what’s the big attraction, I have been to 4 of the last 5, basically its a combination of the setting and the large concentration of every food, craft and ancient art that the Canary Islands can muster. The village has about 700 inhabitants and all year they keep alive the old skills and trade the cereals and products they make, but the annual show is a chance to throw open the doors to around 40,000 people over the 3 days.

One of the big regular events of the show, is the International Cestoria competition, thats basket weaving to you and me. Last year this and the other stalls attracted entrants from 30 countries among the 128 exhibitors. I always find it a challenge to see how much home made cheese, biscuits, cake, wine and sweets I can get through, well it’s all cheap and cheerful. Follow that up with some beer and traditional meat and potatoes or sweetcorn, and the day flows nicely. My only dissapointment was finding that the making of the famous La Palma cigars didn’t involve rolling them on the thighs of young Canarian women.

The showground covers 10,000 square metres in several layers of terraced hillside below the majestic pine forest, topped with low cloud. If the sun breaks through, it can be gorgeous, but otherwise a spare layer of clothing is a good idea. Good news this year, Titsa, the green national bus company, are running shuttle buses from La Orotava bus station. As is the way out here, timings are a bit flaky, sort of every hour, but be a bit flexible, at least there are some nice cafes at the bus station. As for driving, it is sign posted up from Puerto de la Cruz, and you can’t argue at 2.50 euros to get in.

CD Tenerife were back on the island this weekend for 2 friendlies, and they were very impressive in winning both. Friday evening down at the Las Americas stadium they beat CD Marino, from 2 divisions below CDT, 2-0. Born again forward Cristo scored his second pre season goal and eye catching new boy Alfaro added the other. A decent workout, with the usual mass substitutions late on and a crowd of 800 or 1,200, depending on which paper you believe.

Sunday was expected to be the much sterner test,for the Teide Trophy, against Primera side Athletico Bilbao at La Orotava, they had won all their friendlies to date, including victories over Millwall and Charlton on a short English tour. The Armada Sur had a coach up, but with the extra distance, we powered past our usual TF1 motorway beer stop at the Oasis and broke the journey at a petrol station, with bar, near Los Rodeos, the north airport. I often wonder why they built an airport there, it always seems to suffer from very low cloud which nearly envelops the airport, and it’s chilly, many of us were  questioning the wisdom of wearing shorts.

After a few beers at a bar just down from the ground we paid out 15 euros (ouch) and went in. I went to a pre season game there last year, and it was immediately obvious that this was virtually a full house with fans taking every lofty vantage point and a large section of Bilbao fans. The Sur and the other main noisy peñas (fan clubs) took the far corner and started the usual songs and chants as we anticipated a tough match.

Tenerife came out like a steam train and were all over Bilbao, after 10 minutes an Alfaro corner found Nino, and the little striker did what he does best, popped it in the goal. CDT faded a bit as the first half went on and Bilboa tied the score with a Munoz goal. The second half saw Tenerife really take control, Kome floated the ball in from the left and Oscar Perez (pic) charged in to make it 2-1. Could it get any better? yep, Kome was again involved, shooting at goal and when it rebounded to Nino, he was lethal to make it 3-1.

Despite the local Guardia Civil standing down in front of us and trying to stare us out all game, the final whistle was the call for everyone to pile on to the pitch. The Teide Trophy was presented to Cristo Marrero, it looked like a large under arm deodorant, not sure what happened to the large flat landscape of Mount Teide that is normally presented. The players all mingled with fans on the pitch and posed for photos, before we all piled on the coach for the long trip back down south.

Even out here in the land of sunshine the credit crunch is biting, and coupled with the dwindling number of tourists, the euro is under pressure. But hold on, who is that wrinkly looking savior, leaping to the rescue? it’s our old friend the pesata, gone but not forgotten, it is now being used to prop up struggling business’s.

A dry cleaners, Tintoreria Avenida,  in Las Palmas, Gran Canaria has started accepting pesatas, and customers are taking the bait. The Euro was brought in just over 6 years ago, amid a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but Banco España will still convert pesatas into euros, but you have to have a decent amount. The bank estimates that there is still a staggering 1,778 million euros worth of pesatas out there, made up of 950 million in notes and the rest in coins.

Even now, quite a few Spanish products and services have the euro and pesata price shown, and many older citizens refer back to pesatas to guage how much something is in “real money”. A lot of people blame the introduction of the euro for prices going up, but some business owners chose to round up prices out of greed, while others did a straight conversion.

All this could be to come for the UK one day, then maybe spending a penny will become known as euro-nating. Although there are a few other places in mainland Spain that will take the pesata, it’s a gimmick and the Pios of Gran Canaria seem to have embraced the euro, they don’t mind using them as missiles to throw at Tenerife fans in the derby games.

Still, it might be worth while diving down the back of your sofa, to see if you can find a Fistful Of Pesatas, someone must have the missing ones. Just a thought, if shops are going to open up to other currency, I have some UK change I can try and pass off, and maybe those 1970 Esso World Cup coins could buy me a few bottles of Dorada.

It seems like forever since my last fix of live football, well mid June to be precise, thankfully the wait is over and CD Tenerife have started on their pre season friendlies. This is a great time of year, all things are possible and all teams are equal, surely this will be our season for promotion and a good cup run.

Tenerife always have to wheel and deal carefully in the transfer market, no big money signings for us, the club are chipping away at their debt, it stood at 44.9 million euros in December 2005 and is expected to drop below 30 million by the end of this year. Some new faces have been brought in, 2 new goalies and some new forwards to help our free scoring hero, Nino (pic) as he hopefully continues to bang in the goals.

In keeping with tradition, Tenerife have started with a training camp and some light friendlies over on La Palma, their first competitive game was a 0-0 draw on Sunday against Tijarafe. This weekend sees a flurry of activity, with a Friday evening game, kick off 8.30pm, at CD Marino, the Las Americas ground that many visitors think is our home. This will be a chance to try all the squad out, everyone will get a run out, even Gladys the tea lady will probably get on for the last 5 minutes.

Sunday will be a much sterner test, Athletico Bilbao from the Primera, are the visitors for an 8.30pm game at La Orotava, the pre season games tend to be spread around, a good chance for the smaller teams to get a much needed boost in gate money, and as the home pitch at the Santa Cruz Heliodoro has just been re-laid, it will give it time to settle. For the first time I can remember, the Armada Sur will be running a coach to a pre season game, our Canarian friends from the Frente Blanquiazul also have a coach up, so we will be meeting up for a pre match aperitif or 2.

Next Thursday CDT fly to the mainland to play Real Valladolid and back in time for a Sunday game against Universidad Las Palmas at La Laguna. At last on Saturday August 23, we get a chance to pile back into our home stadium with the visit of Dutch Premier team Roda J C , that should be a real treat and a good test before the Segunda Division league programme kicks off on Sunday August 31at home to Nastic.

I’m all ready, my season ticket is on order and i have even washed my scarf. No doubt it will be another roller coaster season with the 2 derby games against the Pios of Las Palmas, engraved on our hearts for November 23 away and April 26 at home. Vamos Tenerife !

It must be a good sign that big companies are ready and willing to plough large sums of money into Tenerife developments, I wonder if they allow a few extra months as standard for delays here, or do they have supreme faith, only to end up pulling their hair out with the rest of us.

Yesterday I went to see the new Tenerife Top Training sports centre just above La Caleta, according to the website, open in June. I trekked up the hill at the side of Golf Costa Adeje, into a heartland of building sites for various projects. Director Carlos Paulsen gave me a thorough guided tour of the site, with our hard hats on, and although the main parts are finished, there is still a lot of work to do before the late August opening of the doors to the public.

The 2 outdoor pools and surrounding area are not only finished but have the lane dividers and blocks in place. The main pool is the Olympic size 50 metres, and the other is half that size, down below, indoors is a therapy and training pool where cameras film swimmers going against a water flow, treadmill style, to be analysed for state of the art bio mechanics.

The football pitches are floodlit, one is grass and the other artificial, they look about ready, but the walkways down to them are a bit of an assault course at the moment, until all the cement work is done. Inside the main building, there are various gyms, changing rooms and physio facilities. It looks good, i just hope they can complete it pretty quick, we don’t need another Siam Park type delay. For a more detailed report, see www.discovercostaadeje.com another of the Sorted Sites commercial websites I copy write for.

As I was in the area, I decided it was time for another visit to the fishing village of La Caleta. It’s a very lovely place where a range of tasty fish reataurants hug the coastline, and large slabs of eroded rock form great surfaces for sun bathing, and launch points into the sea, if you choose not to use the metal ladders provided.

To the west a prominent point has a very enticing pathway leading over to the next bay, I will try that one some time. I have been just off shore there on a boat trip and it looked pretty deserted, but i’m told it is a haven for hippies and nudists, or even nude hippies. La Caleta seemed very quiet, it was 1pm by now but hardly any of the little bars and restaurants had customers, seems a shame seeing the huge 4 and 5 star hotels further to the east, are usually bulging, but I suppose they are all inclusive and seldom venture out of the gardens. It must be particularly cruel if these small family business’s are struggling to survive with all the wealth and oppulence swilling about a short hop away.

The worst sight of my trip was the state of the Playa de la Enramada, former home to the Chirinquito beach bar and chill out area. I knew they were demolishing the bar and “improving” the stretch of beach, but it looks like a war zone at the moment with huge hills of sand and JCB’s ploughing up and down. We can only hope that the finished product isn’t a complete mess.

Can you guess what I’m wearing?  It’s an anorak, and I have a thermos flask of cold fruit drink and some sandwiches, yes I’m ready to go tram spotting. Let’s go to Santa Cruz and see what exciting finds I can tick off in my little book.

First up, it’s the CD Tenerife tram, decorated in club colours and logo, to promote the sale of season tickets for the new season. It’s fantastic, but how many of them can they fit in the official CDT merchandise shop.?

Next into the station is the Nelson tram, specially produced to mark the 211 th anniversary of Nelsons defeated attempt to invade Tenerife. That time the Briits were armed with muskets and bayonets and wearing uniforms, but they failed, however barely 200 years later the Brits invaded in much larger numbers, coming in through the front door, armed with sun cream, bottles of Daddies sauce and wearing string vests.

And finally for this spotting trip, we have the Dorada tram, sadly not of the lesser spotted Especial variety, but it still rings my bell. I could spend hours chasing this one up and down the city, and I wonder how much you get back on that size bottle?

These brightly coloured liveries have certainly made the trams even more noticeable and they are constantly changing. If you want to splash out on your own customised tram, it’s just 14,000 euros per month or 20,000 euros for 2 months.

Coming soon on hobby corner, Lighthouse bagging.

Battle has raged in Santa Cruz this weekend, bodies have been battered and bruised, and screams of horror and anguish have rung out as the brightly coloured spoils of war are worn with pride. Anyway, that’s enough about the women at the sales that are under way in the capital, it’s also been the biggest celebration yet of Tenerife’s defeat of the British Navy under Admiral Nelson on July 25 1797.

I went up early on Saturday to take in the big parade and then move on to the Spanish Athletics Championships in Tincer, but reading the paper on the bus, I discovered it was a complete sell out, one hurdle I didn’t see coming. Never mind, the reports of Fridays re-enactment of Nelsons forces landing at Castillo San Juan, next to the auditorium, whet my appetite for the big parade from Plaza del General Weyler (from the Spanish Civil War) , down the Calle del Castillo towards the Plaza de España and the seafront.

The massed ranks of British and Spanish forces arrived at 11.30, right on time, well 211 years late if you want to be picky, and stood easy for countless photo opportunities. I got to speak to some Brits taking part “Rommels Raiders” these lucky chaps get to travel all over the world portraying battles from various ages of British history, and were delighted to be invited to share in La Gesta (an epic achievement). Captain ( Sir Thomas ) Troubridge, looked replendent in his black tunic and white trousers, even if he did have an uncanny resemblence to Stephen Fry. On this occaision he was happy to pose with the “enemy” but all those years ago he took over from Nelson, after the great leader had been blasted in the right elbow by grapeshot from a canon as he came ashore. 

After a while, the drum rolls summoned the forces together, more than a few had found there way into local bars, and they set off down the Calle with great pomp and style. Reaching the Plaza de la Candelaria, they lined up for inspection by their leaders and speeches were made. The Spanish governor of Tenerife in 1797, Juan Antonio Gutierrez, looking triumphant in his braided hat with white wig and gold cane, congratulated his men on their bravery. The British spokesman, amused the British tourists in the crowd by announcing “we struggled yesterday, but I still think we can win this, and think of the prize money”.

There was a lot of shared language among the rival performers, and some good spirited banter. It’s amazing to think that even after the 226 deaths in the failed attack, Nelson and Gutierrez had such a mutual respect for each other, they swapped gifts and Nelson was invited to dine with the Governor, and Nelsons name is not hated as you might expect, but grudgingly admired to this day. The massed forces set off to the seafront, past the Cabildo (Tenerife government) headquarters, where the flags of Spain, Tenerife and The Canaries fluttered proudly in the breeze. Tonight there will be much dancing and of course fireworks - and maybe even the odd flagon of ale or Tenerife wine.

Although I love sport, athletics doesn’t normally excite me, but I will be popping along to the Spanish Athletics Championships in Tincer, Santa Cruz this weekend. It’s just too good an opportunity to miss, a major national event so close to the Olympics and a chance to see a few medal hopefuls, Mario Pestano (pic), the discus thrower is a good bet for Tenerife glory. It’s also a chance to look inside this amazing modern stadium, the Centro Insular de Atletismo de Tenerife (CIAT) to give it its full name, is sunk into the ground with just a low stone wall and the floodlights protruding, so it resembles a volcanic crater. The stadium has won several design awards an was included in an exhibition at the M.O.M.A (museum of modern art) in New York.

But getting back on track, and field, the championships take place on Saturday 26 and Sunday 27 July from 10 am until 9.30 pm with a break from 12.30 to 3.30. There will be 700 competitors taking part in 42 tests, including heats and finals, split evenly between men and women. You would expect such a big event to be pretty expensive but full price adult tickets are just 6 euros each day, or 10 euros for both days, and can be bought at the stadium on the days, but not between noon and 4 pm.

There is a glossy colour leaflet available in some information and cultural centres, certainly in Los Cristianos, which details all the events and times, or you can check out the website www.tenerifeatletismo.es . As for getting there, take the Puerto de la Cruz and El Campo turn off from the TF1 before Santa Cruz, opposite the Fred Olsen building, and head for the floodlights. The publicity says car parking at the stadium, although this will be by far the biggest event held there so far. I will be catching the 110 or 111 Titsa bus up into Santa Cruz and changing to a 232 at the bus station, it should drop me pretty well outside, I hope.

So there I am towering over Tenerife Sur airport, dwarfing Santa Cruz and looking down on Mount Teide, was it too much cheese for supper?  No, I’m just visiting Pueble Chico, the miniature version of Tenerife at La Orotava, just outside Puerto de la Cruz.

It was definately time for a day up north, so catching the early 343 bus to Puerto de la Cruz ( 6.25 euros with a Bono ticket ) I linked to the free hourly coach to Pueblo Chico from Avenida Venezuela, just behind the Playa and Lago Martianez. Ten minutes later, and 8.50 € lighter (12.50 € non residents) I was passing through the volcanic lunar landscape model and facing a mini hillside dotted with the early Guanche tribesmen of Tenerife. This was just the first of 53 model areas, covering not just Tenerife but also key points of the other Canary Islands.

The models are meticulous in design and sound effects help to enhance the illusion. Tenerife Sur airport comes complete with passenger tannoy announcements and the motorway rumbles with traffic noise. La Orotava valley is an amazing backdrop to the parkand the plants and flowers lining the walkways contrast well with the iconic buildings such as the Santa Cruz auditorium, church of the Conception tower and the Cabildo offices. Nature may also provide you with some unexpected photos as the large lizards that live around the park, dart across the airport runway or scuttle by tiny Guanche figures, like a scene from a sci fi B movie.

The compact arrangement of the models throws up some rare photo opportunities as Corte Ingles rubs shoulders with a Fred Olsen ferry and the auditorium, and the airport runway heads towards the wind park turbines. The park moves with the times, and the tram now glides around La Laguna, passing areas it doesn’t reach in the full size world. A few years ago they added a scale model of Mount Teide, and if you get your camera angle right, you can snap it with the real peak in the distant background. The model Teide is hollow and you can normally go inside but a cleaning lady was busy inside today - maybe it was Mother Nature? I kept thinking of Michael Bentine and what fun he could have had on Potty Time with such a vast playground.

The pathways lead inevitably up to the shop, cafe and restaurant at the end, I spent about 90 minutes exploring the models, that might give you some idea of where to fit it in your schedule. It’s certainly interesting and kids will be fascinated, but it’s definately look don’t touch. As for prices, adult rates start at 12 years old, which seems a bit harsh, and kids prices are 8.50 euros or 5 euros for residents. The park is open 9am to 7pm, more details on the website.

With plenty of time in hand, I caught the Titsa bus into the centre of La Orotava for a bit of exploring. On my last visit I got as far as the Plaza de la Constitution, so this time I headed on upward into the old town, and was so glad I did. The tourist guide boast is that the town centre is one of the few in the Canaries that is preserved intact, how right they are. There are historic plazas, houses, churches and museums every few yards, all clearly maked with plaques giving their history. The narrow streets are seperated from the roads with ornate bollards linked with chains and interspersed with flowers and seats, all very neat and stylish.

I ventured up as far as the flower garden of Plaza de San Francisco and popped into the Casa de Turista and the Casa de los Balcones. These last 2 old houses are on different sides of the street and both have the old wooden overhanging balconies that are famous in the Canary Islands, the Casa de los Balcones has 3 floors of the balconies looking down over a plant filled courtyard. History oozes from every step of the old town, and thats on an ordinary day, a month ago the annual flower and sand carpets added another dimension to the plazas and public areas.

I didn’t have time to do justice to the wine route further on in La Perdoma village, so that will have to wait for another day. Retracing my steps, I stopped off for some tapas and coffee before catching the bus back to Puerto de la Cruz and on to Los Cristianos. My next visit to La Orotava may not be quite so cultural, as CD Tenerife play a friendly there in 3 weeks at the ground on the other side of town, but i will be back this way, with my sights set on the wine tasting.